Punch Drunk Love

I recently sourced responses from many friends via facebook, twitter and email regarding their opinions on love at first sight. I wasn’t anticipating the level of replies that I got, so it seemed I struck a nerve with this topic and got really excited. What I got back were answers that I found both incredibly interesting, as well as surprising.


What spurned my desire to hear others’ beliefs on this topic was that I always steadfastly and almost even stubbornly refused to believe that love at first sight was possible – until I met someone that made me think otherwise. Albeit a fleeting affair in a very long life, this guy had me at hello. I walked around on cloud three hundred and thirty nine, thinking to myself could I actually be THIS lucky? Is this what all my heartbreak has been leading up to – cause if so then give me five more heartbreaks if I can feel this five times stronger! Where I was conflicted, was in my head I was thinking LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, but was it? Is that even possible? Or was it just excitement, infatuation, and the thrill of the new potential...here is what my friends had to say:

•  I don’t think I agree with love at first sight. I think people sometimes think they’re in love at first sight, but really it’s just lust or attraction. In my mind “love” is entirely to do with getting to know someone, feeling connected to them on a deeper level, sharing an emotional bond – how is that possible immediately? I certainly believe there are some people you have an instantaneous attraction to – and by that I mean chemistry, not just a physical attraction – but I still differentiate that from love. I don’t know, I guess it’s entirely dependent upon your conception of what love is...
• I think that point-blank asking whether or not someone believes in love at first sight makes the whole matter seem simpler and less nuanced than it actually is. Do I actually believe that I can lock eyes with someone from across a room and love them in that instant as deeply and meaningfully as I would after getting to know him (or her) for years? No. But I do believe that you can tell, in a glance, an impression, and/or initial conversation, whether or not that person is someone you could love...
• In all honesty, you can’t love at first sight. Love means so much more – like quitting your job and moving. You wouldn’t do that after just seeing someone. But that’s why it’s a good topic, because there are people out there who would I guess.
• Strong gut instinct only. I think real love comes after some element of chaos.

• Lust, but not love. Love means that you have learned to accept each other’s differences and embrace each other’s faults. That itself takes time and time to grow with each other and learn.
• Happened to me!
• Absolutely! Rare but it happens
• I was a victim
• Love at first sight, no – but instant chemistry that can last a life time, yes
• I suppose some might want to say it was "love at first sight" for non-romantic relationships, like their children at birth. That could possibly be the only true love at first sight.
• I am not a hopeless romantic and probably the biggest realist (or as some say - pessimist) out there... but yes, I do believe in it... I think it sounds so cheesy and so impossible. And it may have been chance/coincidence that I met him and instantly knew, but whatever optimism there is in me says it was love at first sight...

From all that I took a step back to reconsider my position on love at first sight. What I truly think it is – which is echoed in a lot of the responses above although people may not actively think they believe this – is that YES it is possible. Why do I say this? How can I say this? Isn’t there so much more evidence against than for it?  Well...I look at it this way:

I think that you can meet someone, immediately connect, get excited about, have an attraction to and feel completely overwhelmed and infatuated with. The in-love feelings bloom instantly, is it the deep eternal love that we all think of when we hear that word? No it’s not – but that doesn’t mean it isn’t love. Love is not an on/off switch but more like a dimmer. It evolves changes and grows over time spent with someone. And for any pair, love may not mean the same thing. I think from the puppy love, the young love, and the new love – which most people deem lust, the love we have come to recognize grows. And I sincerely believe, that despite length of time with a person a true connection is a true connection – and that is what is truly rare and special, and it is something we should all be thankful for when and if we get there.