I have been through a lot of breakups and heartbreak in my short life so far…I do not pretend to know everything (or anything) about dating, love and heartbreak – but I’ve been through enough that I feel there are some solid go-to moves that can help anyone deal with the pain of losing someone you love.
The first thing I normally do post breakup (after the crying, or at least between the spurts) is change my look. After you have been dating someone for a long time, you associate yourself with that person. When they are no longer at you side, you don’t feel like yourself. One of the best ways to overcome this is to head to your salon and let the stylist create a new you – because you will have never known this version of you with someone by your side. The more drastic the change, the more removed it helps you feel from the other person that you were. Believe me, and I know this may sound simple, but in the healing process this is a GREAT first step.
The second thing I normally do – is change my routine. Now this can take many different shapes and forms but changing your daily routine helps to remove the space in that routine that your ex filled. In the immediacy following a breakup, going on a vacation can really help. This shakes up your life, it’s exciting, and it gets your mind on other things. When my first significant relationship ended, I moved halfway across the world for 6 months – this might be a bit drastic for some – but it worked! In my last relationship, less drastically, I went on a trip with my girls to Vegas. It was exactly what the doctor ordered, and when I came home I found myself a new apartment and moved out. Uprooting your life and changing your routine, like changing your hair, helps to remove the feeling that someone is missing because you will have never known this new life with a partner.
The third thing I do – and some people agree while others do not – is date. This one doesn’t work for everyone, and it can backfire depending on the caliber of people you start dating, but it can also open your eyes to see that there really is so much opportunity out there. There are so many other people in the world that you have yet to meet, so why let yourself get down on losing one that wasn’t right for you to begin with. Dating is fun, scary, exhilarating, and nerve-wracking but most importantly post breakup – it is distracting! Instead of pining over your ex while you watch the notebook, dating will make you put on a pair of pumps and go out for a nice dinner with a new guy – the possibilities are endless! The odds that you will meet ‘the one’ are slim, but if you don’t date then you certainly won’t meet him. There is a lot of garbage to rummage through before you find the one worth keeping but the only way to get there is to keep rummaging.
ummmmmm, are you going to buy something expensive for your brother or what. this whole try something new thing seems like a scam.
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